20 Comments
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Eric McCormick's avatar

This was really good. I found myself getting anxious along with the protagonist. Well done.

Scott E. Crain's avatar

Thank you, Eric. I freaked myself out while drafting it at 3 AM.

Eric McCormick's avatar

There is some type of circadian rhythm that causes all of the best drafts to be produced at odd hours of the morning. This deserves some research.

Scott E. Crain's avatar

I agree. That’s usually when I start that part of the process. My brain is just hard-wired that way. Glad I’m not the only one!

Eric McCormick's avatar

Definitely common among writers.

Brice Barrett's avatar

This is chilling, Scott. You’ve perfectly captured that specific horror of being 'disconnected'—both from the network (the dead phone) and from reality itself.

The conductor’s repetition of 'As always' feels like an algorithm that has glitched, forcing Katherine into a loop she can’t solve. It’s a beautiful, eerie metaphor for how we lose our orientation when our tools (and our 'Infrastructure') stop making sense. The image of her drumming her fingernails on a dead screen is a haunting detail—the ritual remains, even when the utility is gone.

I will post a link of this marvoulas story to my followers on Facebook. 🕯️🧭

Scott E. Crain's avatar

Thank you, Brice! I really like how you put that: “the ritual remains, even when the utility is gone.” We rely heavily on our technology, so much so that when it’s is unavailable to us, our first response is to become anxious. We are instantly disconnected, perhaps even disoriented without it.

Great interpretation of the story’s meaning. Thanks for the read and comment.

We Are Erinn's avatar

Ima need to know what happened next tho.

Scott E. Crain's avatar

Katherine may reappear in future fiction. Only time will tell. Thanks for reading!

Regina Quinn's avatar

My phone is like a literal limb and I'd go into panic if it goes off during a journey.

Scott E. Crain's avatar

Actual worst case scenario.

Aaliya's avatar

I can totally relate to the anxiety of a dead phone on a train ride. The little details really make this scene come alive ♥️🙏🏼

Scott E. Crain's avatar

Thank you 🙏

William Slayton's avatar

This was good. From a fellow Floridian! Nightmarish like what you might wake up in a cold sweat.

Scott E. Crain's avatar

Thanks, William.

Donna Kazo's avatar

Again, I read this to Christie. We agree, really well done. A slow build is hard to do. Great restraint, also hard to do. I got Twilight Zone vibes. Keep at it, sweetie ❤️❤️❤️

Scott E. Crain's avatar

Thank you, Donna. It reminded me a bit of Twilight Zone when I’d finished writing and finally read it. Glad you like the story ❤️

Hannah Torkelson's avatar

Ooooh. Ominous?

Scott E. Crain's avatar

I scared myself writing this one 😣

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Comment deleted
Jan 15
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Scott E. Crain's avatar

Thank you. I found it rather difficult to hold back at first. The ‘delete’ key was my best friend while writing and editing this piece. It was certainly challenging, as this is not my usual genre. However, now I may be hooked.

Thanks for your feedback. It helps me understand what’s working here.